Day 30 – Saddest character death

Juliet Burke!!! From Lost, in case you wondered.

I fucking mourned. That summer after The Incident was one of the most productive and engaging fannishly for me. I still have friends from that time. This death bonded us together forever. I loved Juliet so much, she was easily my favourite character on the show and while I expected the s5 finale to be gut wrenching watch her get pulled down and away from Sawyer and Kate, watching her detonate the warhead was hurt me so much.

Juliet went out a hero, she also created the very problem that would one day bring her to the Island, in true Lost fashion. This is secretly my favourite thing about her death. But the lead up to her final moments (though she comes back in season 6 in the Sideways verse) were so bittersweet, because they, she and Sawyer, had an out, they almost left. The almost made it off the Island, but they went to help others, to save the other, and a moment of uncertainty further propelled Juliet’s actions. She didn’t actually sacrifice herself, but she saw the moment where it was going to be her life, or she’d pulled Sawyer down with her and she chose to save him. Then after she chose to try to save everyone. An action that had unplanned consequences, one that would bring her to the Island later, but would also cause for Desmond’s future time  in the Hatch, that would cause the flight to come on the Island in a moment where Desmond misses pushing the button. Juliet death drove, in retrospect, a lot of the plot forward, before she even came on the Island. (Time travel man!)

But also, it was a death that just hurt, because she was so good. She was complicated and sometimes morally grey, but she was so good. I loved her a lot, and her character arc on the show was one of my favourites so to watch her go, to watch her and Sawyer say goodbye to each other was so painful.

It broke my heart for a good long time. JOIN ME IN SOME BRAND NEW TEARS.

Day 30 – Saddest character death

Day 29 – Current t.v show obsession

Killjoys? Idk. Lucifer? Probably.

In all honesty, I don’t feel I have a true and real and all encompassing tv show obsession right now. I enjoy things, of course. Sometimes I really enjoy them, but it’s been a while since a tv show sucked me 120% to the point I live, breathe, ate, ficced the show. I think my last one was The Originals a couple years ago, where for some reasons I binged it and it was my favourite thing to watch and rewatch for months. Or The Last Ship, around the same time. I loved season one of Supergirl, because I love the character of Supergirl and what they were doing then was interesting. I enjoy , but I wouldn’t call it an obsession. Same for a few other shows, despite how excited I get in my liveblogs or how much I reblog on tumblr. I have my faves and I enjoy them, but yeah… sometimes it’s just deep, but ultimately casual enjoyment. Netflix binges happen so fast and burn bright for those few days but I’m mostly happy to let them pass after their done. Though, I loved Daredevil season 2 due to Elektra and I adore the characters in Sense8.

In part, the reason looking at this question had me thinking “I don’t think I have one” was also because I just don’t have the time I used to immerse myself in shows like I used to, but also very few shows have struck me to the point I get immersed.

In fact, I think the show I’d say is my current obsession is Critical Role, but it’s not a tv show, so it doesn’t really fall under the purview of this meme. Also, I have a separate post planned for it, because I feel it deserves it own post.

So, back to the point. Killjoys? I think if I had managed to write up i.e. get to this day back when I should have, I could have said Killjoys easily. It’s a show I love, it’s a show I love watching, it has characters I adore, it has a narrative and mythos I’m super intrigued by, but when it’s over I don’t dwell much on it? I love it, but I don’t obsess over it. It probably doesn’t help the fandom is very small and kinda quiet. I need some engagement in some form for certain shows to get into that level of fannishness.

Lucifer, in that case, is the winner today. In part, because it’s just started airing again, and I forgot how happy and delighted the show makes me. The fandom is pretty chill, so fandom engagement is minimum — not that I’ve ever been particularly great at fannish engagement. I’m the kinda of fan that live tweets or liveblogs loudly, reblogs on tumblr enthusiastically, but I’m very bad at making the first move outwards in terms of online (lol or even life) engagement. I enjoy the shows I watch a lot and sometimes I don’t except to people to enjoy them with me. When they do it’s great, but if they don’t that’s okay too. Hell, sometimes we both enjoy them but differently and there’s just the silent understanding of appreciation on both sides is fine. In regards to Lucifer, I do have a few friends and online acquaintances that do watch it as well, but again, I feel it’s a show a lot of people enjoy but haven’t or don’t get Obsessed over.  Either way, the point is: I love watching it, seeing how the characters interacts, seeing how their relationships develop, speculating (ah the core of fandom engagement) on how things will develop with them, and how, and why. Lucifer is the show that is giving me that experience the most.

But, it’s hella (PUN INTENDED!) fun.


Day 29 – Current t.v show obsession

Day 28 – First t.v show obsession

This one is easy. Sailor Moon. You’ll remember from my favourite childhood show post that I spoke passionately about how much this show shaped me as a kid and really laid a foundation of my future interests in shows and characters. Plus how important it was to me to have varied female role models to show me that there’s no one way to be a girl, there’s no one way to be anything. You can be silly and love manga and want to do well in school and be great a sport or you didn’t have to like anything of those things. You could be introverted or stoic and have a deep sense of religion and love music. Or… well you get the point. As a kid and growing girl this show was important to me for those reason and also it told you: your passions and interests are valid. Luckily for me, my passions and interests ended up being: TV! And other media, but wow I loved tv and I loved Sailor Moon and when the States stopped showing the series that’s when my obsession began.

I had to know more. I had to know how things developed so as I looked it and found out it had a manga series… guess what I did. I went to my closes comic book shop and looked for it. When I found out it had other episodes, nay, WHOLE SEASONS, guess what I did… I found out my cousins who were luckily very into Dragonball Z had similar passions in finding out what happened after the Frieza fight on Namek and they found a place in Hialeah that did bootleg subbed VHSs of Dragonball Z and Sailor Moon. GUESS WHAT WE DID THEN?

Oh yeah, I was fully obsessed with Sailor Moon and wanted to be and know and breath live it.

Other than Sailor Moon, but around the same time, I had my other big tv obsession. Now, this was around the time Buffy and the WB were huge and there were a lot of teen shows to pick from and get Obsessed with. Buffy, while I loved it, I never hit that super fannish mark with it. Same with other WB shows at the time… but then came Roswell and I WAS IN LOVE. I loved this show, especially season one, so much. I wanted to know everything about it. I bought the magazines I rewatched episodes as much as I could, which in an age of no DVR or Netflix or streaming, let me tell you, it was not easy. I listened to Dido unironically. I read fic. I did not write it because let’s be honest I would have been terrible — oh yes, fun fact: Sailor Moon is also the first show that I read fic for, too — and I also lived breathed that show. I can still tell you that the song that played during Michael/Maria’s kiss in “Heatwave” was Santana’s song from his album “Supernatural” feat Everlast: Put Your Lights On. (And that they changed it on the DVD because well, music rights.) My obsession ran so deep that the reason I watched Lost was because Emilie de Ravin who played Tess, an incredibly underrated character!, was playing Claire. I watched Grey’s Anatomy because Katherine Heigl played Isobel on the show. I followed Majandra Delfino’s music career. Guys, I went deep. (To this day I’m still a little in love with Majandra, I won’t lie.)

So yeah, Sailor Moon and Roswell, my two first big tv obsessions. They really said and still say a lot about what I love in my media: I’m just really a sci-fi and magical girls. With a heaving dusting of superheroes.

Day 28 – First t.v show obsession

TV MEME: Day 27 – Best Pilot episode

Hmmm, I was waffling between Lost and Battlestar Galactica. Then I remembered about Alias. I did think about Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but I was already into the Buffy train bc I loved the movie. Yeah, I loved it, deal with it. So it wasn’t particularly impacting to me though it did impact me pretty hard.


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Lost and BSG however, remember them viscerally. Interestingly, the Lost pilot wasn’t my first Lost episode but I remember going back to watch it and being like WOAH. It’s opening sequence will always remain one of the most iconic things to have aired on tv and the show keeps that ride going for the whole pilot. It’s easily one of the most exceptional hours of tv. Battlestar was epic. It was also long as hell and I think more of a mini than a pilot and the whole story was complex and set up whole universe to explore in.

Alias, however, did both. The opening scene to Alias isn’t as memorable as Lost’s but it’s still pretty damn cool. Jennifer Garner in the red wig will forever be awesome. It’s also frankly fantastic to watch her transform herself from everyday Sydney to her undercover personas. Jennifer has been underrated for years.  The world it opened up wasn’t as wide and complicated as BSG’s (yet lol), but it set up a very interesting story and it’s told in an incredibly dynamic way. Following Sydney Bristow as she guides us through her complicated life of balancing her spy life and everyday life, and then it all gets flipped turned upside down when she learns her spy life is even more complicated than she first thought and leads down her journey into becoming a double agent.

It’s a genuinely cool and fun to watch pilot. It starts you on an adventure like every good tv show should be.

TV MEME: Day 27 – Best Pilot episode

TV MEME: Day 26 – OMG WTF? Season finale

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicle, season 2.

Now, I thought about Lost s1 and s5’s finale. “The Incident” in particular broke me in a million ways, but “Born to Run” literally changed the game. It completely changed the way the Terminator had worked up until that point: John Connor was the hero of the Resistance in the future. John Connor was a legend. John would never meet his father. Sarah Connor’s life revolved around protecting John and raising him to become a hero. And what did the s2 finale do? Dismantle all these preconceptions about who these characters were supposed to be and become.

John, a teen John, got sent to the future where he expects his name to mean something and… nothing. It means nothing. Kyle Reese looks at him and sees nothing but a kid. He thinks he sees a friend, a companion in Cameron, but it’s not Cameron. It’s Allison. Derek, who died in front of him hours ago is alive. And the future is nothing he’s heard before.

And back in 2012, Sarah’s life mission: raise and protect John Connor has changed. He’s not there anymore. All she has left is another orphan and a man who spent a good amount of time hunting her down. Her mission has fundamentally changed, emotionally at least. She still has the mission to stop Skynet, but her central focus point of it, John, is gone, and she’s trusting the word of a Terminator.

Everything for them has changed, everything for the structure of the Terminator verse changed. And we never got a season 3 to see how these changes affected them. I want to cry forever. Let’s cry together.

TV MEME: Day 26 – OMG WTF? Season finale

Day 25 – A show you plan on watching (old or new)

I’m a terrible person to ask because I plan to watch almost everything. The short list so far:

  • Halt and Catch Fire
  • Fargo
  • The Exorcist
  • Midnight, Texas
  • Black Lightning
  • Westworld
  • The Alienist
  • Star Trek: Discovery
  • Person of Interest
  • Little Big Lies
  • Sirens
  • The Bold Type
  • The Americans
  • Outlander
  • People of Earth
  • The Good Place

Plus all the shows I already do watch, which is a sizeable list already.

Day 25 – A show you plan on watching (old or new)

TV MEME: Day 24 – Best quote

I gotta say it, both of my top choices for this came from the Buffyverse, which just shows that you can dislike the creator of a thing and still enjoy the thing.

“The hardest thing in the world is to live in it.” Buffy Summers. I love this quote because it’s incredibly true. The world is not kind, it can be good, but generally it’s hard and it’s can be a battle to make it through the day but the point of it is that is life. Living is making it through the day even when the world around you sucks. I just know when I first heard Buffy say this to Dawn it struck me how complicated and simple the fact of it.

The other one, which I think, compliments it is from it’s sister show: Angel. “If nothing we do matters then all that matters is what we do.” It’s slightly nihilistic, but also it’s I find it very poignant, because it, like the one above is very true to life. If there is no such thing as heaven or the afterlife. If this world is all we get then it matters what we do during our time in it. It matters. Not because you’ll get a good afterlife because of your actions, but because you’ll live a good, maybe worthy, life. Or maybe you won’t even notice it, but your actions will matter to someone else, will change someone’s life for the better. Because your choices matter, your actions matter, and that matters in the scheme of things.

The world is a hard place to live, but what we do matters if nothing else does. I think that’s a pretty good life lesson from the Buffy verse. I won’t hold their creator against them for it.


TV MEME: Day 24 – Best quote